


A desert of both kinds

by Swallowdale



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Characters going crazy, Comedy, Death, Desert Island, Gen, Horror
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-06
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-18 09:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1423243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swallowdale/pseuds/Swallowdale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of an interview in which Tom Hiddleston thinks that if on a desert island he will be eaten first. We shall see.....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They had been going to promote Avengers: Age of Ultron in Japan, with Tom (he had a cameo at the end and the fans do love some Loki.) They had boarded the plane in a totally normal situation, nothing could have run smoother, it all happened when they were an hour into the flight……

 

Chris, Chris and Tom were sitting together near the front of the private jet, courtesy of Robert Downey Jr. who would be joining them later that week. Tom was currently attempting to impersonate Chris H.

_“Dude that’s not how I speak”_

“Fine try and impersonate me then and see how ‘easy’ it is!”

_“Ohh h oho I’m the bad guy and I love tea”_

“What the hell was that”

“ _That was me impersonating you”_

“How was that…”

**“Will you two just shut up already, your giving me a migraine!”**

“I guess you don’t want to hear my impersonation of you then”

**“No I do not”**

Tom pouted and glanced out the window, “I wonder when the pudding will be ready”

_“Do you ever not think about pud…”_

**“That’s it I want to get some sleep before Japan so I am going to the back of the plane.”**

Tom, being Tom, started to apologise, “I’m sorry I’ll shut up”

Chris E looked over at him sighing, **“Oh don’t worry, I can’t sleep in front of people anyway, I would have moved eventually”** He stood up and took a step forward,k only to have the plane lurch and him to fall in to Chris H’s lap.

“Ohhh I smell a fanfiction” Exclaimed Tom.

 ** _“Shut up”_** Said both Chris’s in unison as Chris E lifted himself off Chris H’s lap.

“ _What was that_?” Said Chris H, glancing around

“Eheheh Probably just some turbulence” Chuckled tom, trying to hold in his laughter. Suddenly masks dropped from the ceiling.

“Or perhaps not” He gasped the smile completely gone from his eyes.

**“What in hell?”**

Suddenly a crackly voice came over the intercom… _”The plane is going down I repeat the plane is going down….Fasten your seatbelts, secure lifejackets and use the masks. We expect impact within the next two minutes”_

All three looked out the window in horror as they saw the plane advancing rapidly towards the sea…..


	2. Chapter 2

They were in the sea. Well when I say in the sea.

"Jesus get me out" Screamed Tom his seatbelt stuck as water poured into the plane around them. Chris H was smashing at the window, trying to see if he could get one of them to break.

 **"Hey stop that, do you want the water in here before we can get Tom out!"** Shouted Chris Evans, yanking on the strap

Chris H, hurried over, between them they managed to free Tom, their problems were far from over though. The light went out.

"I can't see and we're under water and we're gonna die" Shouted Tom panicking.

_"Don't freak we can get out, we're not that far under water yet"_

"You don't know that!"

Chris E grabbed him and slapped him across the face. **"Calm down, we are going to get out of here. Chris is going to smash the glass and as soon as he does we've got to swim out ok? Otherwise this thing will fill up with water with us inside it"**

Tom nodded, slowly coming back to his senses.

They moved over to a window, through which a small sliver of light was coming through.

Chris H held up a piece of metal he’d found, _“Ready?”_

“Yep” Tom whispered and with that water started pouring in through a smashed window. Chris shoved him through and Tom swam towards the surface as fast as he could. Chris had been right, they were not that far under, but it was still quite a swim. His head broke the surface and he gulped greedily at the air. He looked around and didn’t see any wreckage or the crew of the plane.

He sort of jumped, as well as you can in water, when Chris H’s head broke the surface beside him. “Where’s Chris?” He asked looking concerned, almost immediately after he surfaced as well.

 **“Can any of you see an island?”** He said, as soon as he had regained his breath.

They looked around and Tom spotted what looked like land in the distance, “Over there!” He shouted, pointing to it.

_“That’s miles away, we won’t be able to swim that far”_

**“Hopefully we won’t have to”**

Tom and Chris turned to look at Chris. They turned again, hearing a strange noise coming from under the surface. A lifeboat suddenly burst out of the water.

_“That’s where you went”_

**“Have you never read the instruction manuals; they say that these are under the seats. I pulled it outside of the plane, set it to activate, then came up cus I had run out of air.”**

_“_ You may have just saved our lives!” Exclaimed Tom, trying to hug him, resulting in them both going under water. When they resurfaced spluttering.

 _“When you two are done drowning, I was thinking we could get on the boat, before it floats away”_ suggested Chris. All in agreement they tried to get into the boat. Only to flip it over in trying.

 **“Quick get it upright, we don’t want to lose any of the supplies!”** Shouted Chris, trying to heave it up the right way.

_“How about I get in first, then give you two a hand, instead of us all trying at once.”_

“Yeah that would probably work better,” Agreed Tom.

Once they were all in the lifeboat they started to see if they did have any supplies. Tom was closest to the supply cabinet. “Ok” He said and started reeling off a list of what he could find, “We have water purification tablets, a water collection system. Hmm looks like we need rain for that one. Um and some water, but only a few bottles; some cans of food, perhaps enough for a couple of weeks; a fishing rod and net; lifejackets; a magnifying glass; some matches, but they look wet and some sunhats.”

**“Sunhats?”**

“Well, I guess they don’t want us to get sunstroke”

_“Are there any flares”_

“Um hold on” He rummaged around in the cupboard.

“No”

_“What do you mean no, every life boat has those”_

Chris shoved tom out of the way and looked for himself. _“Great we find the only lifeboat without flares or a radio in it. Brilliant!”_

 **“Would they be those?”** Asked Chris E, pointing to some orange sticks in the water.

 _“Yes”_ He said, “ _Quick row us over to them”_

The flares were scooped out of the water. “There wet” Said Tom, sounding disappointed.

 _“I’m sure they will dry”_ Said Chris H _“Lets just get to the island and we can set up a temporary camp and work out what to do.”_

And so they set off….


	3. Chapter 3

They had been on the island for nearly two weeks. The flares hadn't worked after they dried out. The water and food had run out. They were getting desperate.

They had however found a spring of water so that solved that problem. As for food however, well there wasn't any.

They had spent the first three days trying to find anything. The trees weren't producing fruit, there were no animals except for birds as far as they could see and as for seafood, well lets just say that the first and only fishing expedition had resulted in a near fatal shark attack. So all in all things were going really well.

 

"Tom your diary is too bloody optimistic. How can everything be going 'really well' if we are starving to death." Chris E complained, peering over Tom's shoulder at the scruffy pad of paper that had survived the plane crash.

"Well, people will be looking for us. I mean we're famous"

"Yeah famous and without food for three days now"

Tom sighed. Chris was right, they were starving. The food had run out after just over seven days. Things were getting really desperate.

"Where's Chris?" Asked Tom, to steer the conversation away from hunger, it only made the feeling worse after all.

"Gone fishing again" Chris E replied, pointing to the shallows in the East,k where Chris H stood stock still with a spear held aloft.

"How long has he been there"

"I think, judging by the sun, a few hours"

"Bloody hell this is hopeless" Shouted Tom, throwing down the diary and marching over to Chris H.

"Get out of the fucking water" He shouted, splashing in himself.

"DUDE! What's wrong with you. Your going to scare all the fish away." Chris H shouted, looking extremely pissed off.

"You mean the non existent fish that swim around here with the sharks" Tom said, grabbing hold of Chris's arm. "Come on we're having a meeting"

* * *

Tom sat them all down under the leaf canopy.

"Right so clearly there is no food on this island" He began

"No shit sherlock" Said Chris H, still looking angry

Tom glared at him, "So what I propose we do is split off to different parts of the island to see if we can find any food." He drew a circle in the ground and divided it into three. "Chris you take this half" He said pointing at Chris H.

He was interrupted before he could continue though, "What is the point, there is no food, we have done this before!" Shouted Chris E looking exasperated.

"Well what do you propose we do, resort to cannibalism!" Retorted Tom angrily.

A hush fell over the three. Both Chris's stared at Tom, "Guys I was joking" Tom said laughing uneasily. He really didn't like the look on their faces.

"Dude we know you were, its just not something you say ya know" Said Chris H, a slight grin appearing on his face, "And, i suppose it is worth another try to look over the island"

"Yeah" agreed Chris E, "Nothing else we can do really is there"

"Right, so shall we go tomorrow?" Said Tom

"Yeah" They agreed

* * *

About an hour later Tom set off with the water bottles to get some water from the spring. He wouldn't be back for about an hour.

Chris and Chris set about gathering wood for a fire. "So" Started Chris E "That cannibalism thing"

"Yeah I think we're in agreement" Replied Chris H

"So who?" E

"Isn't it obvious, we both know, he doesn't. It will have to be him."H

"I know its just"E

"Wrong. I know what you mean, but there's no clear rescue coming for a while and there's no food on the island."H

"Don't you think we should vote as to who it is though. Make it fair" E

"He would never vote and he's gonna be the first to die from starvation anyway. Poor guy. We would be doing him a mercy."H

"Yeah I suppose. So when do we do it?"E

"Tomorrow, when we are meant to search the island for food. We'll try to make his last night real fun tonight though. Its only fair."H

Silence fell over the two as they resigned themselves to what they would soon be doing. They made two fire piles that evening. One considerably larger than the other. But although they looked resigned they were actually impatient to carry out the act. Their hunger driving them forward.

* * *

When Tom returned he was surprised to see to stacks of wood. One was huge!

"Uh guys?" He said to the two laughing Chris's.

"Oh hi Tom" Shouted Hemsworth, signalling to him. 

Tom walked over, "What's with the two fires" He called as he got closer. 

"Oh, we just thought it would be better to have one ready for when we got back tomorrow. To cook anything we find." Evans said, grinning.

"And the happiness is because" Tom asked suspicious.

"We found soap!" Shouted Hemsworth grinning like an idiot. "We were waiting for you so we can all go have a proper wash for the first time in nearly two weeks!"

"Oh cool. I do feel kinda grotty"

"Yep. You need to be clean for yor adventure tomorrow" Chris E grinned.

"Right" Tom said chuckling. They sounded so happy he couldn't help but laugh along. Due to this he didn't even question why they thought he would need to be clean.

.......

They splashed into the sea grinning. Hemsworth knocked Tom over and Evans barrelled into him. One giant water fight ensued. Everything was perfect. Tom should have seen that something was wrong. He didn't even react when Chris offered to help him wash, kind as Tom was.

They were lounging up on the beach later when a weird conversation started up.

"Its weird that none of us have ever gotten ill yet" Said Chris Evans

"Yeah, mabye its because we've had them all and are immune" Siad Tom

"Have you had any diseases Tom?" Said Hemsworth, tensing slightly. But in his relaxed state Tom didn't notice.

"Have I had any? Um no, nothing that could kill you anyway"

"No me neither, Evans?"

"Nah"

The silence started up again. Tom sighed and stood up. "I'm gonna go relieve myself then turn in for the night, how about you two?"

"Um, yeah in a minute i guess" Said Evans looking at Hemsworth.

"Alright, see you in a minute then" Said Tom heading into the forest.

On his way back he heard Chris and Chris talking. But he halted when he discovered their conversation.

"I think we should do it tonight, when he's sleeping" Hemsworth said, an alarming edge to his voice

"You said tomorrow!" Evans protested.

"Look who's in charge here mate. And anyway it will be better to do it whilst he's sleeping. He won't even feel it then."

Won't even feel what? Thought Tom confused.

"Fine but i'm not killing him. You get that pleasure"

Time seemed to stand still for Tom. It suddenly all made sense. The happiness, the cleaning, the questions about the disease, the large fire. He felt like being sick. They were going to kill him. They were going to kill him! He took a step back and regained his logic.

He needed to get in there now, get a water bottle and get out. Right now. 

But they wont let you leave again. Said a little voice in the back of his head. Tom looked up from the floor to see both Chris's staring at him through the treeline. They knew he had heard. "Tom" Evans started, stepping forward. Tom turned on his heel and ran. This couldn't be happening, no no no no no. He heard swearing behind him and ran faster. He could outrun them, he would survive.

 

 

 


End file.
